out of order

dear reader: this post is non-chronological. i will post soon of my adventures since brighton. the following is written in all-lowercase because i couldn't be bothered with the shift key.

this is how i'm feeling:
depressed and so sad to leave london.

tonight is my last night in the london centre. i packed for a little while this afternoon, but got really bored with that really fast. and now i have to be ready to go for tomorrow. i am so so sad. you know how i don't cry? well, i might. right now i have lump in my throat and i can't tell if it's because i'm going to cry or if it's because i'm crinking my neck against the pillow in my cave and it's after one in the morning. i do not want to be done. i love london with all my heart. i feel so at home here. i'm glad i get to stay with rachel, but afterwards i want to come back here.
i just know that when i come back to london in the future, it probably won't be for the long extended time that i've had here and it's just won't be the same as living and learning here in such a unique experience and environment and making all these friendships through the things we've done and seen together. oh, gosh, the lump might be a crying lump.